She shared her confession and painful experiences with her followers on Instagram. According to Gerda, although she has endured a lot, she is starting a new life today.
G. Zaptoriūtė agreed to share the post with Delphi.
“ANOREXIS. DAY 1.
I got up in the morning and the first thought that popped up: today at the center of the disruption. Today is my first step. The closer to the center, the more the heart beats. But I did it! The first step! It is said that the beginning is the hardest, I confirm 100% that this is true.
The conversation in the group lasted about 2 hours, and it seemed like an eternity … Both painful experiences and exhausted people, tired of all this manure and wanting to get out. I have seen myself in all women. Everyone introduced themselves and lo and behold, it was my turn … I felt an unpleasant heat pass through my body and I started to feel nauseous. I swallowed that feeling and started:
Hi, I’m Gerda. I am 24 years old. I struggle with eating disorders since childhood. It all started with bullying at school, and now I’m already sitting here because I end up eating my own thoughts about food and body.
Bullying at school, in a close environment, ate me all year round, which in the tale I grew up with as a very traumatized person with a lot of psychological problems. The most difficult journey for me and my eating disorders began in 2019. “Factor X”. I weighed in every day and cut my food portions every day. Until the day of the grand final came and I had to climb the stage with all my strength, I could no longer do it, I could no longer climb the stairs. I reached a weight of 36.5kg.
I fainted the same day, my blood pressure was barely palpable. I realized I had to do something, if not for myself, then for my mother, who cries every day. I left a toxic relationship in which I drowned for almost 6 years. There was a man in my life. Yes, I’m talking about Jovyd. He helped him get out of the cruelly deep bottom when even the slightest light was no longer visible. I felt happy again. The problem did not go away, but for a short time, it was already possible to live with it.
2021 when i found out i was waiting in august, things turned around again. I started to really take care of myself no matter how hard it was to struggle with thoughts. I even thought the baby would help me finally recover.
September 8 the news has come that pregnancy is no longer developing and the fetal heart rate is absent.
September 11 cleaning day … I felt worthless, an empty dish … Everything came back to life.
And now I’m starting the journey, “Gerda shared a very sensitive post.
Although Gerda did not reach the super final in the project, she calls it an even bigger gift.
“I feel like a winner. I didn’t go much that year, but I feel like I’ve taken the most serious trophies of life, “said Gerda.
After the project, the freshly baked couple moved to live together in the capital, bought a dog. Also, Jovyd decided to have a romantic fight. The guy will say that he planned this event for a very long time, because he felt that Gerda was his man.
The couple’s engagement took place by the sea. In the sand, Jovyd buried a bottle with the question, “Okay, will you be my wife?” Then he offered to build a sand castle for his beloved. So Gerda discovered a bottle that contained a fateful question.
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