Miss Manners: Next time, treat the employee contagious with compassion

Dear Miss Manners: During the trip, my husband and I decided to stay for the night. I called a large chain hotel for half price. As I spoke, the clerk asked to put me on hold. It's been a long time, but I thought he had to wait for someone at the counter.

A few minutes later, we arrived at the hotel. The same woman was at the desk. In the middle of our discussion, he apologized and went behind. It was, once again, a very long wait, and when it finally came out, I asked if there was something wrong.

"I'm sick," he said. I asked her if she meant her stomach. Was. I asked if it was contagious, and she said, "I hope not." I was horrified and withdrew from the counter, saying I did not want to get sick. He said he understood and asked his manager to wait for me, then he came back to the back again. I waited and waited and no one came out. I guess he was throwing up again.

I told my husband I just wanted to leave. He was very annoyed with me, but we left. He said I was terribly rude and embarrassed about the way I reacted physically.

My main concern was not to capture what he had. In addition to being right in front of her, she would have managed my credit card, the room keys, the pen and the documents that I would have to handle myself.

Was I rude? I did not want to get sick. How else should I handle the situation?

With at least a semblance of polite concern for the person who is actually ill before being consumed with the remote probability of his illness.

Dear Miss Manners: What does "elegant shades of white" mean for formal wear?

That the bride is the very unusual combination dictatorial, but eager to be overshadowed.

Dear Miss Manners: If a gift is given, is it ever appropriate for the donor to tell the recipient that more time and effort has been deduced in the gift than he could have ever encountered? ("Believe it or not, it took all day to find the right one for you.")

On the one hand, since it is the thought that matters, the recipient may want to know the amount of thought ("It was so kind of you!"). On the other hand, such revelations can tarnish the gift and come out like crass fishing for thanks.

Although there is a direct inquiry ("How long did it take to make it?"), Is it permissible to respond directly or is the deflection ("Oh, was not it a problem, really") the favorite answer?

"Oh, I had so much fun find / sort / cut out this gift for you. I hope you like it. "If you ask for more details, Miss Manners will allow you to indulge modestly, indulge, not luxuriate.

The new Miss Manners columns are published Monday through Saturday at washingtonpost.com/advice. You can send questions to Miss Manners on her website, missmanners.com.

2018, by Judith Martin

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