The Skylife room of the Southend airport in London has been declared the worst in the United Kingdom out of 21 other paid services.
This according to which?, Whose inspectors visited the salon and discovered that there was no hot food, no view of the runway and no sparkling wine.
They evaluated the structure with only one out of five possible stars.
Passenger reviews were just as damaging, with them describing the lounge as "stained carpets covered in crumbs", while the food offered was "sad", including "unripe bananas" and "halved pastries".
And this came at a cost of around £ 20 if booked in advance or £ 24 for those paying on the day.
The airport's website states that the lounge is "smart and sophisticated", allowing passengers to "start their journey in real style", but it was the passengers themselves who did not agree.
The pasta dish looked like cat food
The second lowest place went to the Aspire hall in Edinburgh, which received only one and a half star.
Although the facility included a hot food menu, an inspector described the salad items as having "an unmistakable flavor" while a pasta dish "looked like cat food".
The third worst joint was the London Luton Aspire, with its "frozen eggs" and "stale bread", along with Belfast International Causeway and London Heathrow Terminal 5 Aspire.
The first joint post was assigned to lounge no. 1 of the London Heathrow Terminal 3, which offered sparkling wines and free à la carte dishes.
It was also described by inspectors as the best equipped facility, which boasts a cinema, free showers, private sleep pods and hot food options to order.
This honor was shared by Manchester Terminal 3 1903 and London Heathrow Terminal 4 The House lounges.
Rory Boland, editor of what? Travel said: "Fighting the security queues and the labyrinth that has become duty-free can be such a test – it's no wonder if the promise of an oasis of tranquility in a paid room is so appealing .
"But with the salons that charge up to £ 50 for what might be a little more than a spot on a stained sofa and a soggy pastry, passengers could be better off saving their money for treatment once they reach their destination. "
Which? carried out reviews of 21 pay-as-you-go lounges at nine UK airports between September and December 2018.