Style Invitational Week 1305: Hits and Googles

(Click here to jump to the winning Fibra mini-poems).

Googleyup: "chocolate covered lettuce"
Googleyup: "chocolate steak"
Googleyup: "chocolate covered sand"
Googleyup: "Volkswagen Beetle covered in chocolate parked in front of a supermarket in China"
Googlenope: "fetuses of chocolate-covered little mice covered with chocolate on a lightly toasted poppy seed bagel with a schmear" from a list of Gene Weingarten, 2007

Googleyup: "Trump is completely honest". (The only hit: "Trump is completely honest about his probable future dishonesty").
Googleyup: "Twitter makes me feel comfortable." (The only hit: "Lately, being off Twitter makes me feel comfortable.") – both by Gene Weingarten, 2018

At the age of 25, the Style Invitational has grown – and here is the only way you'll see "Style Invitational" with "grown up" – with Google. And the Invito has played with the search engine in various ways, as well as Gene Weingarten, Washington Post humorist journalist (who until 2003 had entertained an intimate and whispered relationship with the emperor's predecessor, the tsar ).

In 2007, Gene coined the term "Googlenope", a word or phrase that does not generate Google hits at all, while it discovers "The buttocks of Queen Elizabeth", "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious-esque" is "Nelson Mandela is a doo-doo leader."The same year, the Style Invitational Losers tried it for the week 717 (winner: "That controversial episode of Gilligan's Island" by Malcolm Fleschner). And until 2010, the loser Mark Richardson found no hits for "Nobody understands me as my husband" or "Nobody understands me as my wife".

We have also participated in contests for Googlewhacks – a single success – and Googillions, phrases that have received over 1 million visits ("Trump has the same hair behind" – J. Larry Schott, 2009). But we have never managed to make the variation that Gene has nicknamed Googleyups: phrases that surprisingly have one or more successes out there, if only to deny the feeling, as in the examples above from the column of Gene just last weekend.

Obviously, finding unique is the interesting results on Google are much more difficult in 2018 compared to 2010, and it was difficult then. So E is expanding its search parameters, so to speak. This week: Find us or a googlenope, a sentence in quotes that does not generate previous results, or a Googleyup, a phrase that surprisingly surprising. You could even counter a Googlenope with one or more Googleyup, like Gene in 2007, or cite an ironic context for Googleyup, as it did last week. If you come with a real Googlenope, keep in mind that with your voice.

Submit the entries on the site .

The winner gets the Lose Cannon, our Style Invitational trophy. And speaking of Pulitzer-Winning Juvenile Armpit-Farters, this week's second prize was donated by Dave Barry, who took it from a fan. Is cute male barbecue apron, probably since 2012, since "Meat Romney" is embroidered on it. What is manly? Well, lurking behind a cloth attached to the front of the apron is a pendulous fabric along a foot, um. . . as Dave says: "It is difficult to describe this object without using the word & # 39; penis & # 39; but I will try: this is a novelty apron that extracts the rich and never aged humor of the electoral humor of 2012 ". Warning: Before the Empress awards this prize, the winner must certify in writing that he has no taste. Otherwise, E will replace something more decent and mature, like a plastic dog turd.

Other classified seconds you win our "loser loser" Loser Mug or our Grossery Bag, "I got a B in Punmanship" (or maybe a new design). Honorable mentions receive one of our loser magnates, "We & # 39; ve Seen Better" or "IDiot Card." The first offenders receive only a "deodorant" from the smelly air (FirStink for their first ink). The deadline is Monday night, November 19th; results published on December 9 (online Thursday 6 December). Consult the general rules of the competition and the guidelines on The title for this week's results is by Chris Doyle; Chris also wrote the subtitle for this week's honorable mentions. Join the Invitational Style Devotees on Facebook at Ink of the day "Like" Style Invitational on Facebook at; follow @StyleInvite on Twitter.

The Style Conversational The weekly weekly column by Empress, published Thursday afternoon, discusses each new competition and series of results. Especially if you are planning to participate in the Googlenopes / Googleyups contest, take a look at

And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago. . .


In Week 1301 we asked Fibs, poems whose syllables per line follow the Fibonacci mathematical sequence of 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8.

4th place:

I'm not hated,
As long as you are a dictator. "- D.J.T, Washington
(Mark Raffman, Reston, Va.)

Gene Weingarten models the presentation of the presentable apron and the sender, the second prize this week. (Selfie by Gene Weingarten / The Washington Post)

3rd place:

Bread of
My snack
(Celiac disease).
But that mellow smell. . .
They are a gluten for punishment.
(Matt Monitto, Bristol, Conn.)

2nd place

and the giant rattlesnake cup:
Men at Trump
Rally? The friends guffawed:
"The odds are good, the assets are odd."
(Nan Reiner, Boca Raton, Fla.)

And the winner of the Lose Cannon:

Thank you,
After yours
I tell from those luxurious rooms;
I can not eat mushrooms anymore.
(Duncan Stevens, Vienna Va.)

Vice dawgerrel: honorable mentions

The drought?
Sad jokes!
Climate change?
Of course it's a hoax!
Mar-a-Lago is fine, people.
(Melissa Balmain, Rochester, N.Y.)

Waking up,
Once it was full of terror
To find a horse face in his bed.
(Jesse Frankovich, Grand Ledge, Mich.)

My nerves for trauma:
Now I'm a mess. Thanks, Obama.
(Duncan Stevens)

To cry.
What dead man? "
While the world is screaming,
Donald counts his petrodollars.
(Nan Reiner)

They are finished,
Together we will grow,
Eat or turkey or crow.
(Drew Bennett, West Plains, Mo.)

Wiring bells
The horse knows the way
"Wait, where's my phone? Oh no, come back!"
(Kristin Braly, Baltimore, a prime culprit)

Two peas in a pod.
It is thought to be a tsar; the other, God.
(Ray Gallucci, Frederick, Md.)

If upset, do not worry:
Get in touch with your interior Brett.
(Marcus Bales, Cleveland)

Sexual assault
It should simply be ignored!
Except for Christine Blasey Ford. "- Sen. Susan Collins
(Duncan Stevens)

To vote
They are so hard to sift,
My reference source is Taylor Swift.
(Jesse Frankovich)

to play
So, alas,
I'll be alone.
Because love does not mean anything to me.
(Craig Dykstra, Centerville, Va.)

I will be OK.
Do not feel guilty, son.
I'm used to loneliness. Have a good time.
(Hildy Zampella, Alexandria, Va.)

Drank beer;
I like beer."
This push of the Supreme Court
It was sponsored by Anheuser-Busch.
(Duncan Stevens)

Speak the truth
To his coach:
"I want a workout
So I can throw out that fracture. "
(Nan Reiner)

Beautiful people
He did it again fresh
To be proudly a thug. – S. Miller
(Kevin Dopart, Washington)

At your price
(The top of the earners!)
No way. (Nats owners – Lerner lenses).
(Mark Raffman)

The French legislator proposes the law to outlaw the hoax of accents
New prohibition-no
Dissing bad accents:
They might have told my high school teacher.
(Frank Osen, Pasadena, California)

And last:
You have
Read everything
The snoozer
That has ink for the
Invitational style losers.
(Chris Doyle, Denton, Tex.)

Still running – deadline Monday night November 12: our "what if" competition. .

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