Style Invitational Week 1309: The Year in Redo, Part 1

(Click here to skip to the winning Googlenopes and Googleyups)

Winner of the week 1268, fake curiosity about the media:
Jeff Bezos intended to buy only a single issue of The Washington Post, but at the time he had no small bills. (Robert Schechter)

Winner of the week 1255, neologisms included the block of letters S-A-N-T in any order:
Am-Nasty International: the new name of the president for the state Department. (Ann Martin)

Winner of the week 1279, "real" indications:
How to meditate:
1. Close your eyes and relax.
2. You are not doing well. (Mark Raffman)

Have you ever read the results of a Style Invitational contest and go, "Ohhhh – now I see what they wanted "" ("They" are the woman who will never see your voice unless it comes to ink.) This week and the next, the Empress offers you another chance with our retrospective contest This week we will cover 25 contests Invite from last November to May, including perennials such as obi poems, "breeding" of foals and various neologism competitions, as well as some one-offs such as Yelp reviews for strange places, or blasphemies modern nature.

Enter (or re-enter) any Style Invitational contest from week 1255 to week 1281, except for the 1257 and 1258 weeks, the revisions of last year and the 1260 week, the 2018 "Preview Year" (the preview will be 2019 later). It is possible to participate in several competitions provided that no more than 25 entries are submitted in all. For contests asking you to use that week's document, use online documents and articles dated 6-7 December. For the poems of the obit, the 1261 week, he keeps writing about people who died in 2017. You can resubmit non-inked items from previous contests.

How the hell will you find these old competitions? Piece of cake, even if you are not subscribed to this article (even if you should, you know). Go to the Loser Community website, nrars.org, click on "List of major contests" and scroll down to week 1255 and beyond. Read the descriptions of the miniature contest, then click on the "E" icon for the online version of the week's competition or on the "WP" for the printed version. And check the results of that week's contest (usually four weeks along the chart) to make sure your idea has not already received ink. Please provide the week number plus a short identification document of the competition to which it refers (eg "Week 1291, Spokesperson for Poor Products"). See the Style Conversation column for this week a wapo.st/conv1309 , published Thursday afternoons, December 6, for other ways (perhaps better for you) to see all the competitions.

Send the entries to wapo.st/enter-invite-1309 (all in lower case) – NOT the registration forms for those old competitions.

The winner gets the Lose Cannon, our Style Invitational trophy. The second place receives one of our favorite awards of all time: it was collected in Ukraine, by a street vendor in Kiev, by Invite Fan but not by Loser Rex Moser. Although Rex can not read Russian or Ukrainian, he has had no trouble recognizing Vladimir's face Putin in color on a roll of toilet paper. The accompanying wording is translated into "Putin is a [ahem]-head "- a whistle that became popular among football fans during the annexation of 2014 and is also widespread (allegedly more discretely) in Russia.

Other classified seconds win our losing cup "You Gotta Play to Lose" or our "Whole Fools" Grossery bag. Honorable mentions receive one of our loser magnates, "We & # 39; ve Seen Better" or "IDiot Card." The first offenders receive only a "deodorant" from the smelly air (FirStink for their first ink). The deadline is Monday night, December 17; results published on 6 January (online Thursday 3 January). Consult the general rules of the competition and the guidelines on wapo.st/InvRules. The title "No-Hit Wonders" was suggested by Jeff Contompasis and Jesse Frankovich; Chris Doyle and Jesse both suggested the subtitle of this week's honorable mentions. Join the Invitational Style Devotees on Facebook at on.fb.me/invdev. Ink of the day "Like" Style Invitational on Facebook at bit.ly/inkofday; follow @StyleInvite on Twitter.

And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago. . .

NO-HIT WONDERS: WINNING GOOGLENOPES (E & # 39; YUPS) FROM THE 1305 WEEK

In Week 1305 the empress asked you to find something interesting Googlenopes – phrases that do not generate Google hits or "ghits", as they are sometimes called. He also invited interesting Googleyups, phrases that are already surprisingly in circulation, as well as a series of Nopes and Yups put together by irony. Some of the following are Googleyup googlewhack – One shot. (Those below worked at the time of printing, at least for E.)

4th place:

Googleyup: "Cows are smarter than you think"(A Googlewhack)
Googleyup: "Pigs are smarter than you think"
Googlenope: "Betsy DeVos is smarter than you think"
(Mark Raffman, Reston, Va.)


Direct from Kiev, the 2nd prize this week. (Russian obscenity is hidden in the picture, this just says "la la la".)

3rd place:

Googleyup: "Does your virginity grow back?" (101 results) (Mike Burch, Nashville)

2nd place

and the winner of the legendary "Meat Romney" barbecue apron:
googlewhack: "Sarah Huckabee Sanders always tells the truth." (The whole sentence: "Sarah Huckabee Sanders always tells the truth about absolutely nothing.") (Lorna Jerome, Waldorf, Md., Which will have the opportunity to choose a less raw prize, such as plastic dog poop)

And the winner of the Lose Cannon:

Googlenope: "Nobody invites me to LinkedIn." (Eric Nelkin, Silver Spring, Md.)

"The junk were broken: honorable mention

Googleyup: "I miss Karl Rove" (and indeed, some of the 67 achievements were sincere – but others included "I miss Karl Rove and Dick Cheney as a necromancer misses the Black Plague") (Josh Feldblyum, Philadelphia)

Googlenope: "Chasidic twerking video" (Google asked for help, "Did you mean: & # 39; Hasidic twerking video & # 39 ;?" Fortunately, that was also a Googlenope.) (Daphne Steinberg, Alexandria, Va.)

Googleyup: "Please take off my nails"
Googleyup: "Please kick me in the shins"
Googleyup: "Please, scream in my ear"
Googlenope: "Please bring me the airline's food"
(Duncan Stevens, Vienna, Va.)

googlewhack: "Antioxidant properties of donuts" (Mike Gips, Bethesda, Md.) (It is also a googlenope with the spelling "donuts")

Googleyup: "Facebook makes me stupid"
Googlenope: "Facebook makes me smart"
(Kevin Dopart, Washington)

Googleyup: "The work of Adam Sandler" (although at least one refers to "The total idiocy of Adam Sandler's work") (Mike Gips)

Googlenope: "That controversial Hallmark Christmas movie" (Larry McClemons, Annandale, Va.)

Googlenope: "Your mom is so monogamous" (Eric Nelkin)

Googlenope: "The comments section really advances the discussion" (Mike Gips)

Googleyup: "Do vegetarians eat carnivorous plants?"
Googlenope: "Do carnivorous plants eat vegetarians?" (Mark Raffman)

Googlenope: "How to unlock Rachel from card services" (Bill Dorner, Indianapolis)

Googleyup: "Louis Armstrong sucked"
Googleyup: "Billie Holiday sucked"
Googleyup: "Frank Sinatra sucked"
Googleyup: "Ray Charles sucked"
Googlenope: "Ella Fitzgerald sucked"
(Jonathan Jensen, Baltimore)

googlewhack: "Sexy Ruth Bader Ginsburg Halloween Costume" (referring to a gag lasso in a 2012 film flop) (Bill Dorner)

Googlenope: "Trendy new German restaurant" (Jonathan Jensen)

Googleyup: "What wine matches the dog well?"
Googlenope: "What wine combines well with porcupine?"
(Tom Witte, Montgomery Village, Md.)

Googleyup: "Our four-year calm" – but they all refer to dogs (Mark Richardson, Takoma Park, Md.)

googlewhack: "I can not wait to see Washington in the summer" (and referred to the state of Washington) (Duncan Stevens)

Googlenope: "Empress of the Style Invitational action figure"
Googleyup: "The figure of action by Gene Weingarten" (Bill Dorner)

Googlenope: "I did not deserve ink." (Andy Schotz, Hagerstown, Maryland)

googlewhack: "Everyone loves the empress" (Gregory Koch, Falls Church, Va.) (That single blow, alas, refers to the Empress Elizabeth of Austria, 1837-1898. There is not much love for the empresses out there, suppose ).

Still in progress – deadline Monday 10 December: our competition for the Bob Staake comics captions. See wapo.st/invite1308.

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