Dear Miss Manners: On the occasion of a sporting event that was part of an acquaintance's birthday party, I met her husband for the first time. Later, while I was watching the long food queues with dismay, I noticed that he was halfway down one of the lines. I was ecstatic for my luck!
I asked if he would buy food for me and I gave him a $ 20 bill. He came back and introduced me to a simple hot dog (only sandwich and hot dog), which according to my estimates would have left a reasonable amount of change even at baseball prices. He did not mention the change, which I thought was a little strange. I did not insist, but I felt uncomfortable.
I was out of my mind to ask for the favor of such a new knowledge? I did not specify if I expected a change or offer to buy him an item as part of the transaction. Was it rude of me to ask the favor without offering him the chance to use the change for his own purchase? And was it my responsibility to inquire about the change when he came back and introduced me to my very simple dog?
Even an old acquaintance he would have trouble juggling with another order of food, let alone stop at slather ketchup, mustard and savor.
You could have offered to pay for the rest, if only for the fact that understanding that the change from different sources could tire an already difficult exchange – and irritate the people behind him. It's also possible that he intended to give you changes, but he forgot.
Miss Manners suggests you give up, next time saying, "I hope it did not cause you any trouble, and please do not worry about the change." In this way you get credit for the result, giving it the chance to remedy the situation if you wish.
Dear Miss Manners: My husband and I bought the dream home after so many years of hard work and sacrifice. Our new 15-year-old house is modern and modern in style, situated on a panoramic hill with a small lake in front.
Many guests are happy and intrigued by its openness, refined style and location. But when family members visit and visit, we often hear: "This is not what I expected at all". What would you suggest as an appropriate response to this embarrassing statement?
"Thanks, we are like that glad you like it. "
Miss Manners notes that people who are wrongly attributed to being kind do not deny it.
Dear Miss Manners: A friend of mine wants me to wait until the last minute of Saturday morning (I work full time, from 9 to 5, from Monday to Friday) to see if she wants to do something with me or not. I think it's very rude.
I would never think of asking a person to keep an entire Saturday until I decide what to do at the last minute! How can I help this person understand that his question is unreasonable?
"If you are not able to commit to the plans, maybe we can plan a moment when you know you'll be free. How will it be next summer? "
The new Miss Manners columns are published Monday through Saturday at washingtonpost.com/advice. You can send questions to Miss Manners on her website, missmanners.com.