"With dignity you can not allow your child to punch you" – News

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When I invited her to come, she said, "I'm better now because I have my son in prison."

Montserrat Boix: Yes, it's sad but it is. It's the second time. But in prison there is a brake that does not exist in mental health centers. Clear, to our dwarves with mental disorders, drug addicts, who just want to do what they give them hunger, tell them to stay closed … They do not want to. It is difficult for doctors to ask a judge to give orders for involuntary income, and they have a fortnight's income. And then what happens? If you have closed and medicated them and you do not take drugs, after four or five days they are already stabilized, they give them discharge and the first thing they do when they go out on the street is drink, consume, do not take more drugs and they make the big sprout again. . And if not, they can ruin the family situation aggressively at home or on the street. Sometimes they tell us that they are tired of a revolving door, because they come in, they go in, they stay there for a while, they leave, they get worse and come back.

As a beginning

M.B .: We are not doctors, I am a nurse and I speak for my experience: my dwarf is 30 years old and he started this with 12. So it's been 20 years since we fought. The profile that we put on the web is nailed to 99% of the people who call us: this starts from 11-12 years, coinciding with the beginning in the consumption of alcohol and smoking losses, above all, because Cannabis is the door of every drug addiction.

And the change of behavior begins.

M.B .: Everyone tells you: "My son turned me into a sock". Nanotechnologies that took care of themselves, most of them diagnosed with ADHD, who were not doing well at school, restless, dispersed, and with the consumption the brain was turned, that we say at home. Suddenly they begin to break things, to act first, verbally, then to go through physical aggression, stop going to school because they are not interested, and because, moreover, when school attacks start, they expel them as punishment. But it turns out that the punishment is for the parents, because the dwarf wants to leave. Then leaving school makes them go to the street at the age where nanos are a group life, that is, they stick to people on the street. And the ball is getting bigger: disappearances of a few days without going to sleep at home, complaints about the Mossos …

There must also be affected girls …

M.B .: Yes, but many less. Now, depending on how they get worse, because the girls feel stuck on the camel or a criminal, they are almost kidnapped. And there are pregnancies, because sex is often the first thing they learn to give in exchange for drugs, money or food. The association is a mother with a 17-year-old daughter who was pregnant at the age of 14. The son, 3 years old, is in a host family who loves him very much, but the child needs medical supervision to see Do not develop any mental disorder in the future. I must also say that we have a high percentage of adopted children, even children adopted as newborns, but that surely have already inherited health problems.

When this has started, you should feel very much at home.

M.B .: Yes, very lonely and very scared. Why do you think: "My God, but if we all love home and we are not alcoholics, if we treat them well, we have brought them to good schools …" Until you find out everything. Our dwarf has a disturbance that makes him very sincere. One day, at the age of 13, he comes from school and tells me: "Today I lied to an old lady's purse". Thing?! "But then, mum, he pitied me and I came back." We suspect that there should have been a latent mental disorder, aggravated by the consumption of leeks, and it is not the same thing that cannabis triggers a 12-year-old disorder, in complete neurological and vivid evolution, that at 30 or 40 years you can have a life stability. But this is an intuition.

You must have gone through all the steps.

M.B .: Yes, because all this tranquility you have while the boy is hospitalized in nursing homes, stops having it when they tell you that they can not be there anymore, because they do not learn anything else and come home. And at home the same thing is back, because unfortunately we have verified that these nanos do not heal. It's a parent job, accepting that your child does not heal. First of all, you agree that ESO will not end, after which it will not work, and finally that your child has a mental disorder and will have a life. All this costs a lot. I go to the psychologist every week, again, and I think I'll have to go there for a long time. It's getting worse: crimes, jail, discussions with doctors do not stay. Once they had my nail the next day they punched me in front of the doctors. The other child leaves the house because he can not live with a brother like that. And we, as a couple, thank God have endured, but there are many couples who separate. My husband left the engineering work he had and set up a job placement center in Cercs for the dual pathology, ie mental disorder and drug use.

Maria Rosa Lunas: The story, given my age, would be infinite, could explain many cases. Here was the stigma of the theme of mental illness, which everyone covered. And what came to me quickly was the campaign "Mental health is something for everyone, adhere to you". If we do not approach this problem of more complex cases more closely, the world as we know it will now disappear.

And then assemble the association.

M.B .: Yes, we were called the Desperate Parents Collective at the start.

You talk about "desperate parents", but all the people you left behind in the paper are giving …

M.B .: Yes, 95% of those they call are women. I would not want to be politically incorrect, but more than one man separated by saying things like, "I'm not willing to support this". As if the women were! Or: "I'm still young to make my life". I do not know how to explain it, but I think women love in a different, more visceral way, and we fear this fear and this despair. There are women, but we are the women who are at the back of the cannon.

In any case, suffering from behavioral disorders. Desperate and desperate parents. And what did you do with that?

M.B .: I wrote a letter to the newspaper that was echoing. I said that my son had three possibilities: that he could die, that he could kill him or that he could commit suicide. After five months of writing that letter, in March 2017, my son was thrown into the subway. And survived. This had happened two hours after they had been discharged from the clinic, where he had only gone to seek help, but because he was a consumer, he had been told that it was not mental health. After three days a son of a mother of the association attacked with bites in Berga those two dwarfs who left a disco, which were homosexual. And there was a big boom because it was said that there was a homophobic aggression. And she went out saying no, that her son had many charges of aggression, which attacked everyone and that this was not a homophobic attack. We went to the morning of TV3 and this caused the arrival of another couple. We went to the waves. Until last, last November, the Generalitat announced that it had been created Global approach to cases of mental health with high complexity. We are proud of ourselves because we put our little frog on it. We need centers where our nanos can stay long with long-term treatment. Or maybe, even more, it's hard to say, they must be alive, but with a complete care and life, not so, they will stop in the centers where patients are not doing anything.

Thinking of parents who see their child having severe behavioral disorders, what would they say?

M.B .: Let them not lose dignity. Easy to say and hard to do. Because when the dwarves start doing things like that, do not confront yourself, thinking that it will be worse, that it is quieter because if it does not, it is worth the trouble to see that you have not heard. And this means that eventually you will consent to your fist and you will stay the same. And this can not be. Our dwarves are mentally ill but they are not crazy. They know that when they attack their father they are doing something bad. What happens is that at that moment they can not be controlled, but once they have done so, they must know that this has consequences. And, even if it costs you, the Mossos must be reported. And if the Mossos are left, then they will stay there. And ask the judges that when the multin children do not pay the money, because the money is paid by their parents and the younger one is left wide enough, they are doomed to do work for the community. The boy knows he did something bad if you made him paint a wall.

M.R.L .: We add efforts. We promote intergenerational relationships. Sometimes a child behaves in a way with his parents and another with his grandparents.

I do not know what kind of wave we should have created, but I think that starting the year is not bad.

M.B .: I think so. Above all, when a parent arrives, explaining his case, a doctor will not tell him, "Something must have done so the dwarf would be like that".

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