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I have a cry of the soul. Dato, son, solo, daughter 4.8 years. The temper is a choleric. And I (more precisely my husband and I) can't do it … He does everything his way, contrary to spite and so on. Since childhood, this temperament had already manifested itself, but now it is only a carcass of light. We never physically punish it, we don't spank it and so on. Reluctantly, if I had seen it from the side, I would have said that the child does not see the edges, is spoiled, etc.
As a result, I already feel like a kind of dog, I always bark. But I don't really want it! As if not according to her, she screams, sometimes almost hysterically, rolling on the floor, knocking at her feet, etc. But more often it is simple: screams, goes mad, throws things, "mom you are bad, bad, you are tired of me, etc."
Here are some examples:
There is a fence on the embankment, followed by land 1-1.5 m, then a cliff 15 meters high, the cats behind the fence. My daughter runs, reaches out for the cats, sticks her hands (to my wishes not to touch the cats – zero reaction), then climbs the fence (I repeat, you can't climb again), it almost crushes me between the bars – here I am breaking away from the fence, I put my feet on the ground and tried to communicate because this should not be done. Scream, free yourself. I take him by the hand, sometimes I almost drag him, I raise my voice, I go on. After 5 minutes, almost everything is ok.
And there may be 5 similar examples throughout the day. (He doesn't want to wash his hands after a walk, but he wants to play right now; he doesn't want to break his shoes in the corridor, but he wants in the middle of the room; there are few berries in the porridge; many berries in the porridge, etc.). And I still build, I give commands and so on. But Christmas trees, sticks, the first thing I try, I explain, persuaded, etc.

The child is developed, draws well, herself (!) She has learned to read, not books of course, but all the inscriptions in the city (pharmacy, bar, bank, vegetables, etc.), Titles in books, etc. Write simple words. He loves nature, a thousand questions a day about birds, animals, the world, space, etc. We read a lot with her, we explain everything scientifically, we understand a lot. Count up to 100 and beyond, add prime numbers like 3 + 2 and so on.

But how? How to reduce and minimize these lunatic protests and howls? I close my eyes to many things, but as far as security is concerned, I cannot allow a compromise.
I am not a kind person, sometimes quite hard, maybe this is the problem (the mother-in-law thinks that I forbid her a lot: but if you don't get convictions and stories that it's dangerous to climb to the window, only the order "come down immediately from the window ! ", then what to do?) I ask you not to offer physical methods, I really believe that you can agree with a child without mounting. But I don't know how to do it with a very rebellious child, none of me is a teacher, and all the petrans, etc. They have been read, but I don't know how to apply them.

Here, on vacation, the Internet is bad, I can't answer right away, but I read everything. ATP!

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