I started my path of weight loss on September 13, 2018, overturning the scale with a shirt that burst 94.5 kilograms.
Ninety-four kilograms may not seem extreme to some, but for a short person on the lighter side of a 44-gallon drum (and whose weight was around 70 kilograms … years ago) 94.5 kilograms is a life lost.
At the time of my third weighing, a month later, I had already lost a total of 8.5 kilograms in six weeks; they are almost 1.5 kg, or two roast chickens a week – almost ten percent of my original body weight.
"Whoa!" My underwear was starting to fall!
Now in mid-June 2019 and I'm down, down, down – down to 77.5 kilograms; this is a huge 17kg loss, or 34 jars of 500g margarine.
Imagine, thirty-four tanks of fat, butter, lard! "EuGH!"
What is worse, is that in the last few years I have carried around a useless and deflated spare tire – my flaccid, exaggerated and sagging belly.
Looking in the mirror: "God, have I really lost so much?" It's like an illumination. One of those struck by lightning, "der!" moments when you suddenly realize, "shit, I'm fat and I'm overweight!"
When the shock of seeing your reflection weakens, the awareness that you have been out of shape – well, really, you don't have a shape, just a blob – you appreciate how much stress you have undergone your body, bones, organs and back pocket; a bit like trying to pull up an overloaded caravan with a mini.
Apart from that, it is even more difficult to face the dairy of Coles and see so many trays of margarine piled up and think "what could I be? It's me!"
Try to collect four tanks, "ok, it's easy." Try for 10 and you will be traumatized!
Now I have managed to discharge almost 20% of my original body weight.
"But what! I haven't felt so good in years," and I even managed to keep him out while at the same time filling my stomach with sugary sweets and fat delights that would have brought down Atkins and Dukan's anger. , and make Pete Evans turn his head!
So people show that "diets are not just for the fair sex. We also eat meat, smoke, spit and drink alcohol, and even successfully", I add!
"Yes, right! It looks pretty good, so how did it", some of you are probably asking?
As for some of you, you're probably sarcastically thinking to yourself, "Oh, here we go again, another scam!" Someone else sells us desperate and cruel aspirants to another bloody and miraculous diet! "
Well, I'm not selling anyone a miracle: trust me!
If you want a miracle, look for the company of a spiritual counselor or the advice of a religious confessor.
"The only miracle is that you find the courage to face your fear of looking at yourself in the mirror and admitting that you are overweight, big, obese, fat, the size of a car, built like a house or something."
And for the poor, the misers and the frugal spenders out there – it won't cost you a damn penny! You will not be financially buggered, so don't panic.
The best things about the diet are me, and NO, this is not an announcement for any "new" product on the market (although I have been delirious as one of those damn annoying funeral insurance advertisements), is that there are real, quick results and visible with very little effort on your part, except for having to raise a hamburger with your hands, cut a juicy steak with a knife and a fork, chew in a cake, make a pizza with your teeth and exercise your jaw like you chew with frantic contentment .
Believe it or not, do I now have a sculpted shape on my body in more places than one can even imagine?
"Hmm! Take your mind out of the gutter".
NO expensive liposuction procedure! NO invasive surgery! NO exercise! No gym lessons! NO dummy and expensive exercise equipment! NO expensive diet foods! No shakes! NO pills! NO food supplements! No meal replacement!
Just good honest food; whatever you like to eat!
Having tried other diets over the years, I can honestly say that the diet I'm doing is the real Lite & # 39; n & # 39; Easy of all diets; Jenny Craig's worst nightmare, the envy of Weight Watchers!
And once a day you can push whatever you want down your throat without remorse over that juicy, rare, 500-gram steak you've thrown down with a pot at the local sports club in front of that vegan table.
"Oh for the love of God," could you be thinking? "Just give us the damn low-down!"
"Yes, yes – I'm coming, wait!"
Here it is, read it and you cry people. Is it called the 16: 8 diet? As in the title of this piece, but because of all my jokes, you probably have already forgotten it?
In any case, the 16: 8 diet plans to eat only during a period of 8 hours (or "window", as the experts say) during the day during fasting (an interesting word for the hungry) for the remaining 16 hours of the day .
The geezers who invented the 16: 8 diet name suggest that fasting now and then and limiting the intake of calories-containing drinks (fatty foods in English) can not only help you lose weight, but control it, while at at the same time lowering the cholesterol level, reducing blood pressure and protecting you from heart disease.
"Yadda, yadda, yadda …"
All the things many charlatans preach but don't practice.
I have breakfast around 10 in the morning, I go to lunch at any time between noon and two in the afternoon, and then I eat a small meal before 18:00.
My lunch menu? Be & # 39 ;, a normal pizza made locally (not the immense chunky crust junk served by those franchised mobs), a generous serving of chips and a bottle of Coca-Cola.
I can also squeeze an afternoon cappuccino with a side of donuts!
After this it is only drinking water (not grog guys); but if I get pangs of hunger, I will give myself a cup of tea and a cake, even if it "sucks!" simple cookie so you can down my lousy medications.
It is really up to you to find a "window" suitable for your daily routine.
But whatever time you create – "keep the bloody thing!"
"Whatever floats your boat?"
And before you push the workers to try to snatch a nerd and find some excuse for your partner about why you can't try this diet, there's nothing to stop you from exercising culinary celibacy.
Switching from day to night intermittent fasting does not require major changes to one's diet program unless a new "window" 16: 8 is set.
Experienced dieters know that it is possible to repeat the 16: 8 cycle whenever desired – from once or twice a week to every day, depending on personal preference.
I am of the opinion that if you want this diet to work (as it did for me) you need commitment, and commitment means dedication, regularity (and I don't mean going to the dunny fellas), and resistance; and there is no better way to get involved than to repeat the cycle every day.
And after consulting our best friend Google doctor, the closest enemy of the drugs, I discovered that if you limit the part-tay time to half, or the peak of the "window", you don't get that itch of hunger during night.
Think of it as a roller coaster; up you go slowly (breakfast), climb to the top and enjoy the view (lunch, "mmmm …") then slip into the evening – of course without forgetting that afternoon tea.
So what motivated me and how did I prepare for the diet?
Be & # 39 ;, first it was a charlatan who told me that my cholesterol level was very high and that I had to take the "Statins" he was about to prescribe.
"What the fuck of & # 39; F & # 39; Statins? English, English!"
In short, tablets to lower cholesterol.
And this comes from someone who is twice as wide as me. "LOL!"
Just like the government, "do as I say, not like I do!"
But the real kick on the ass that sent me on this diet was staring at those man-like tits in the mirror. My tits were bigger than my sisters!
So, in the few months before starting my diet, the first thing I did was reduce the sugar in my coffee; then the number of coffee I was having.
Then I cut the sweet cakes, opting instead for some small slices of carrot cake.
Orange juice, blackcurrant and soft drinks have been licked.
Portioning – who came later!
From a dinner plate superimposed on the food arranged around the plate. Appealing to the eyes and watching my food has actually reduced my tendency to want to mock it.
"Well placed distractions always do the trick."
Then, in the evening, I replaced my half-dozen pieces of chocolate with some unsweetened cookies.
Fries and flavored rusks came out at the disco in the evening in front of the television.
As for the attachment to high protein foods, fruits and vegetables, it is up to you, but I have never liked fruit delicacies and munchies sausages.
Adapting to the diet was, as might be expected, a bit of a challenge.
When I got to the heart of things, everything went well for a few weeks, until I started to get hungry at night; but I was comforted by the fact that I had lost almost 3 kilograms quickly enough.
It became a case of focusing on the significant amount of weight lost and turning a blind eye to the juicy and tasty leftovers that stared at my face every time I opened the fridge.
Drinking plenty of plain water soon began to extinguish the flames of hunger.
With the visitors coming or when I go out, I take things slow and just make that special meal a one-time indulgence and immediately after.
Now the worst things about the diet?
People think you're sick or worse dying! The loose skin; well, what can I say "gravity is the enemy of every diet!" Your clothes are loose and make you look fat! Your undies fall! "LOL!"
And a last word.
The 16: 8 diet is not suitable for everyone, so it is very important to talk with your family doctor or a treatment specialist before embarking on your health journey.
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