Conan O’Brien’s Oscars Monologue: Jokes, Highlights, and Key Moments

The 98th Academy Awards, hosted by Conan O’Brien on Sunday night, delivered a rapid-fire monologue that touched on everything from celebrity controversies to global issues. O’Brien, returning as host after previously hosting in 2025, opened the ceremony with a mix of self-deprecating humor and pointed observations.

Opening Remarks and Self-Awareness

O’Brien began by acknowledging his potential status as the last human host of the Oscars, joking, “I’m Conan O’Brien and I’m honored to be the last human host of the Academy Award. Next year it’s going to be a Waymo in a tux.” He also playfully referenced the challenges of hosting in Los Angeles, stating, “Last year, when I hosted, Los Angeles was on fire. But this year, everything’s going great!”

Jokes and Targets

The monologue didn’t shy away from current events and celebrity culture. O’Brien poked fun at Timothée Chalamet’s recent involvement in controversies surrounding ballet and opera, quipping, “Security is extremely tight tonight. I’m told there are concerns about attacks from both the opera and ballet community.” He also made references to Sean Penn and Ted Sarandos, and the ongoing issues surrounding the Jeffrey Epstein case.

Political and Social Commentary

O’Brien ventured into more political territory than anticipated, addressing the American healthcare system and right-wing Super Bowl counter-programming. He concluded his monologue with a sincere acknowledgment of the global uncertainty caused by the war in Iran.

Key Monologue Moments

• “I’m Conan O’Brien and I’m honored to be the last human host of the Academy Award. Next year it’s going to be a Waymo in a tux.”
• “Last year, when I hosted, Los Angeles was on fire. But this year, everything’s going great!”
• “Security is extremely tight tonight. I’m told there are concerns about attacks from both the opera and ballet community.”
• A joke referencing the theatre being named “Has a Small Penis Theatre.”
• A quip about Sean Penn and Paul Thomas Anderson involving an “erection at gunpoint.”

Broadcast and Streaming Availability

Conan O’Brien’s opening monologue aired during the 2026 Oscars ceremony at the Dolby Theatre. The 98th Academy Awards are available to stream on Hulu.

You can also watch Conan O’Brien’s full opening monologue on ABC News’ YouTube channel and view a cold open segment on YouTube.