Among the many geniuses we lost in 2025 what satirist Tom Lehrer who scandalized America in the 1950s and 1960s with his biting political songs,then left that career in the early 1970s to teach math.

“Political satire became obsolete,” he famously quipped, “when Henry Kissinger was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.”

That thought crossed my mind as I deliberated whether to continue my annual Gustadramus column where I offer predictions for the coming year. How could I possibly find mirth after a 2025 in Los Angeles that started with infernos continued with a blizzard of immigration raids worthy of the White Walkers in “Game of Thrones” and is ending with record Christmas rainfall and a gas line rupture that threatened to turn Castaic into a giant bonfire?

But hope and humor are what make life worth living, and President Trump makes Kissinger seem as inoffensive as Bluey. So behold my 2026 forecast, which will absolutely come true, because my track record is more perfect than the order of retort washed down with horchata.

*Rick Caruso decides not to run for California governor or mayor of Los Angeles when he realizes JD Vance has a better chance of winning than he does. Instead, the developer challenges L.A. City Councilmember Traci Park and easily beats her by spending $538 million.He then shocks everyone by siding with the progressives on the council, citing his Catholic faith and the fact that Jesus made the Democratic Socialists of America’s L.A. chapter seem as woke as, well, Park, a Democrat who’s about as blue on the political spectrum as a fir

2025: A Year in California Absurdity

A UCLA fan in the stands of the Rose Bowl on Nov. 22 as the Bruins lost to the Washington Huskies, 48-14. (eric Thayer/Los Angeles Times)

*Stephen Miller, the chief architect of Trump’s scorched earth deportation policy accidentally applies Rogaine to his bald pate and sprouts an Edgar cut within seconds. Turns out he’s a modern-day Samson: his lack of hair was the reason he was such a soulless ghoul. He quickly grows a heart and urges the president to not only stop all deportations,but to pass a full-scale amnesty and open the borders.For a generation, Latinos name their first-born sons Esteban in his honor.

*For an entire hour, no political scandals hit the cities of southeast L.A. County.

*The Angels make the playoffs for the first time since 2014, ending an 11-year drought that was the longest in Major League baseball. They get swept faster than downtown streets after a dodgers World Series victory parade.

*NASA announces that a meteor is headed toward Los Angeles, leading Mayor Karen Bass to successfully order the evacuation of the city for everyone except her. L.A.’s terrible air quality shrinks the subsequent meteorite into the size of a Chihuahua’s head as it lands on the steps of City Hall, takes the elevator to bass’ office and proceeds to criticize her for taking that trip to Ghana while the Palisades burned.

*Bill Essayli is desperate to prove to the world he’s a brilliant legal mind, after a judge ruled he was “not lawfully serving” as acting U.S attorney in Los Angeles, his prosecutors called him mean nicknames behind his back and federal public defenders consistently beat him in cases involving protesters at immigrant right’s rallies. He volunteers to prosecute the Hamburglar at a kindergarten mock trial – and he loses.

*Everyone remembers what they were doing when they first heard about the recall effort against Gavin Newsom… again.

Modesto Nuts’ Woody appearance Draws Record Crowd

The Modesto Nuts experienced a historic night at John Thurman field on saturday, drawing a record crowd of 9,288 fans. The special attraction? Woody, the beloved cowboy doll from Disney’s Toy Story, made a guest appearance.

The previous attendance record of 8,854 was set on July 4, 2017, against the Visalia Rawhide. Saturday’s game, also against visalia, easily surpassed that number, demonstrating Woody’s significant draw.

“it’s unbelievable to see this kind of support from the community,” said Modesto Nuts General Manager Carolyn Wheeler. “We knew Woody was popular, but we didn’t anticipate this level of excitement. It’s a night the fans won’t soon forget.”

Fans enjoyed not only the baseball game but also opportunities to meet and take photos with Woody.The team also offered special Toy Story-themed merchandise, which proved to be a hit with attendees.

The Modesto Nuts, a Single-A affiliate of the Seattle Mariners, continue their series against the Visalia Rawhide on sunday.While another appearance by Woody isn’t planned, the team hopes to build on this momentum and continue providing memorable experiences for their fans.