“I got my big break at 50 – the same time as menopause.”

Fang Shaoli is on stage, mic clamped in her right hand, a huge smile on her face as she revels in the laughter. Although still a relative newcomer to China’s standup comedy scene, she’s been playing to sell-out crowds up and down the country in recent months.

That “big break” she jokes about came on this summer’s “King of Comedy,” a showcase for fresh talent on the Chinese streaming platform iQiyi, where she won over judges and viewers alike with her authentic, down-to-earth style.

As well as jokes on the worldwide experiences of middle-aged women,she’s received praise for her emotionally raw material,delving into domestic violence,her divorce,and other hardships she’s endured to escape her once hand-to-mouth rural existence.

one online review described fang’s comedy as “not only reflecting her rebirth but also that of countless women who bravely pursue their true selves and find healing thru laughter.”

Despite her newfound celebrity status, Fang still refers to herself as an “ordinary migrant worker.” Yet for the first time, she finally feels in control – on stage and off.

Suffering in silence

Fang was born and raised in the countryside around Linyi, a city of about 11 million people in China’s eastern Shandong province. She began working away as a teenager, but resettled in the area after getting married at 20.

To give an example of what village life was like, one of fang’s routines is about the time she traveled for hours to a neighboring town to see a “miracle doctor” who claimed to sell medicine that guaranteed a woman would give birth to a son. She’d already had one daughter and was trying for a second child – another girl would have been considered a “great misfortune,” provoking gossip and ridicule among her peers.

She returned home with the medicine – frozen with fear as the motorized tricycle carrying her wound its way through the mountains in the pitch-black night – only to discover later that the “doctor” was actually a veterinarian.

Naturally, Fang’s second child was also a girl.

Twenty years on, she bursts into laughter when she thinks about that trip. But the mockery she received from relatives and neighbors cut deep at the time. Whenever she reacted with anger, she was made to feel that she was in the wrong.

“It’s always suffocating like that. If you get upset, they say you’re too sensitive,” Fang says. She explains that many rural women tell her how validated they feel after hearing her tell such stories on stage.

In fact, it was only after she began performing that Fang learned just how bad the situation had been for some women, including close friends.

She mentions Zhao, a mother with three daughters who she’s known since they where both teenagers. After seeing Fang’s appearance on “King of Comedy,” Zhao said she’d spent the next three days crying at home. “You finally said what we went through out loud, so everyone could hear it,” she told her childhood friend.

Despite outwardly appearing cheerful and extroverted, Zhao revealed that she’d been in a state of silent despair. Shortly after the arrival of daughter No. 3, her mother-in-law had openly instructed Zhao’s husband to find another woman who could give them a son. Zhao became so depressed that she kept a lethal dose of the herbicide paraquat hidden for 18 years, waiting for the day she would finally decide to drink it.

Along with mountains of praise, Fang has also received much abuse online. Some people have accused her of concocting a tragic past to solicit sympathy, casting doubt on her claims of working manual jobs at farms, construction sites, carwashes, and in sanitation. Fang wept as she read some of the negative comments and even felt the need to post several videos in response.

However, one message she later received from Zhao put everything into per

Fang’s Awakening: From Resignation to reinvention

Fang’s story is a powerful testament to the possibility of self-finding, even later in life. For decades, she lived a life defined by obligation and the expectations of others. It took a pointed conversation with her daughter and a series of life-altering events for Fang to finally prioritize her own needs and desires.

The Catalyst: A Daughter’s Honest Reflection

Fang had long attributed her unhappiness to external factors – the demands of her family,the constraints of her job. Though, her daughter challenged this viewpoint, directly pointing out that it was actually Fang’s lack of courage holding her back. “Don’t put that responsibility on us,” the daughter told her. This was a deeply emotional moment, serving as a crucial wake-up call.

A Breaking Point: The Porridge and the Divorce

shortly after returning home,a seemingly small incident proved to be the final straw. Fang witnessed her husband drinking porridge directly from the pot with a ladle – a habit she and her daughters had pleaded with him to stop for thirty years. The frustration ignited a deeper fear, reminding her of her mother-in-law’s fatal collapse during an argument. Driven by this fear, Fang made the challenging decision to ask for a divorce. In April, she left the marriage with only her daughters and a modest amount of savings.

A Lifetime of “Good girl” Syndrome

Fang’s life had been characterized by self-sacrifice. From a young age, she embodied the role of the “good girl.” Before marriage, she worked for two years in a factory in Suzhou, diligently sending all her earnings home to her parents. After marrying and having children, she accepted whatever job provided income, never pausing to consider her own aspirations. “I’d never once thought about what I wanted,” she reflects.

Finding Inspiration in Literature

An avid reader, Fang found solace and inspiration in literature. She notably admires Granny Liu,a resilient character from the classic Chinese novel “Dream of the Red Chamber.” Fang sought to emulate this strength in her own life. However, she also recognized a lifelong pattern of simultaneously accepting her fate and quietly rebelling against it.

The Power of Family

Now independent, Fang realized the unwavering support of her daughters. They were the only people who had consistently stood by her, and their presence became her anchor as she embarked on this new chapter.

Key Takeaways

• Self-awareness is crucial: Recognizing the role we play in our own unhappiness is the first step towards change.
• Courage over comfort: Breaking free from established patterns requires courage, even when it’s difficult.
• Prioritize self-discovery: It’s never too late to explore your own desires and build a life aligned with your values.
• Family support matters: Having a strong support system can make all the difference during times of transition.