Victoria Monét Opens Up About the Challenges of Dating Women

For many, the idea of shifting romantic focus from men to women is often framed as a move toward easier, more intuitive relationships. However, Grammy winner Victoria Monét is challenging that narrative. In a candid discussion about her personal life, the singer revealed that her experiences dating women have actually been “worse” than dating men.

The Reality of “The Girls Do Me Dirty”

During a recent appearance on Angie Martinez’s IRL podcast, Monét didn’t hold back when discussing her romantic history. When the topic of dating women arose, Monét stated plainly, “The girls do me dirty.”

While Martinez suggested that dating women might be “easier,” Monét disagreed, noting that her own experiences have been more difficult. When Martinez playfully questioned if the issue might be “poor picking,” Monét explained that the problem often lies in the nature of the approach she receives from women.

Surface-Level Attraction vs. Serious Intent

Monét believes a significant part of her struggle stems from how she is perceived and approached. According to the singer, many women approach her from a place of physical attraction rather than a desire for a committed partnership.

“Girls, they don’t really approach me seriously. They approach me, like, sensually,” Monét explained. “I’m like, ‘Well, I would want it to be something more serious.’ And I haven’t really gotten that approach from many women. They’re just like, ‘Oh, she’s beautiful. She’s attractive,’ or talking about my body and stuff. It’s like a sexual thing. Maybe they don’t take me seriously.”

Current Status and Future Preferences

Monét has been single for the past two and a half years following her split from long-term partner John Gaines, with whom she shares a five-year-old daughter, Hazel. As she looks toward the future, her priorities for a partner have shifted toward a specific type of dynamic rather than a specific gender.

The singer shared that she is currently seeking “masculine energy,” regardless of the person’s gender. This preference is rooted in her own current state of mind and identity:

• Feminine Balance: Monét noted that because she is currently “feeling so feminine,” she is drawn to the opposite energy.
• Exploring New Dynamics: She admitted she hasn’t extensively explored dating masculine women, noting that the women she has dated in the past were typically “a little bit femme, or a little bit more in the middle.”

Key Takeaways: Victoria Monét on Modern Dating

• Quality of Approach: Monét finds that women often focus on her physical appearance and sensual appeal rather than pursuing a serious emotional connection.
• Energy Over Gender: Her current romantic goal is to find a partner with “masculine energy” to balance her own femininity.
• Personal History: She is navigating the dating world after a long-term relationship with John Gaines.

By sharing these vulnerabilities, Monét provides a nuanced look at the complexities of queer dating, reminding her audience that “easier” is a relative term and that finding a partner who offers the right emotional and energetic balance is the ultimate goal.