Helping Children Develop Patience: A Guide for Parents

Children often struggle with waiting, wanting immediate gratification. Developing patience is a crucial skill for children, fostering emotional regulation and frustration tolerance. Family coach and mother Kerstin Karrer offers insights and practical steps to help parents guide their children toward greater patience.

Why is Patience Difficult for Children?

Young children live primarily in the present moment. “In early childhood, children still lack the ability to engage in thought experiments that concern the future. For them, it is simply not yet conceivable that they will not be able to do things until later,” explains Kerstin Karrer . This makes waiting a significant challenge, as their brains aren’t yet equipped to understand delayed gratification.

The Link Between Patience and Frustration

Patience is closely tied to a child’s ability to manage frustration. When a child’s desires aren’t immediately met, it can lead to frustration they haven’t yet learned to cope with independently. Karrer emphasizes that patience is strongly connected to frustration tolerance and impulse control – skills that can be challenging for young children to develop. It’s helpful for parents to remember that even adults struggle with waiting, as illustrated by the common experience of waiting in a long line.

3 Steps to Cultivate Patience in Children

Kerstin Karrer recommends a three-step approach to help children learn to defer needs, manage frustration, and control impulses:

1. Practice Waiting in Everyday Situations

Frustration tolerance is built through practice. Everyday life provides numerous opportunities to operate on this skill. Utilize situations where waiting is unavoidable – such as while food is being prepared or groceries are being set away – as learning experiences. It’s vital to observe your child sensitively during these times, gauging how much waiting they can handle without becoming overwhelmed. This allows them to experience: “I can wait. It doesn’t sense great right away, but I know I can always do better.”

2. Model Patience and Be Transparent

Children learn by observing their parents. When you are in a waiting situation, verbalize your needs and actions. Karrer suggests that this doesn’t need to be a constant narration, but rather a natural expression of your thought process. For example, while putting away groceries, you could say, “I would like to sit down with a coffee now, but the shopping needs to be put away, otherwise the groceries will gain ruined. I’ll do that right now, then I can sit down and relax.” This demonstrates that you have needs, but sometimes other things accept priority.

3. Provide Reassurance and Security

Children need to feel secure that their needs will eventually be met. Karrer explains that it’s important to reassure them that their turn will come after waiting. For instance, if the dishwasher needs emptying while your child wants to play, explain, “I would like to empty the dishwasher now so that I can play with you in a more relaxed manner. I will then come to you and we will play together. You can choose a game.” Crucially, follow through on your promise. Even if your child has moved on to another activity, make sure to join them and offer to play the agreed-upon game, reinforcing the importance of keeping agreements.

Recent Achievements of Young Austrian Snowboarder Hanna Karrer

While focusing on child development, it’s worth noting the accomplishments of young Austrian athletes. Hanna Karrer, born February 6, 2008, has demonstrated remarkable patience and dedication in her snowboarding career. She won a gold medal in slopestyle at the 2024 Winter Youth Olympics and earned her first World Cup podium finish in December 2025 . She was selected to represent Austria at the 2026 Winter Olympics in January 2026 , showcasing the rewards of perseverance and long-term commitment.