Sarah McLachlan on Repairing Her Relationship with Daughter Through Therapy

Singer-songwriter Sarah McLachlan, 58, has opened up about the challenges she faced in her relationship with her oldest daughter, India Ann Sushil and how family therapy helped them rebuild their bond. McLachlan shared her experiences on Amy Poehler’s “Good Hang with Amy Poehler” podcast, revealing a journey of self-reflection and a shift in her parenting approach.

Acknowledging a “Hard Ass” Approach

McLachlan admitted to adopting a strict parenting style, describing herself as a “hard ass.” She initially intended to parent differently than her own mother, but found herself repeating similar patterns of communication during moments of frustration. “It’s funny because I thought so clearly in my own mind that I was being the antithesis of my mother,” McLachlan explained. “And I looked at the way she parented, and I thought, ‘I’m going to do everything completely different.’ Then her words reach spewing out of your mouth in a moment of anger and frustration, and you’re like, ‘Oh my God, I can’t believe I did that.'”

Understanding Underlying Anxiety

Initially, McLachlan struggled to understand her daughter’s reactions, which sometimes manifested as shutting down or lashing out. She believed her daughter needed “grit” to navigate a challenging world. Still, through family counseling, she discovered that India was experiencing significant anxiety. People Magazine reported that McLachlan realized her communication style was detrimental, making her daughter feel inadequate rather than supported.

The Power of Communication and Humility

“The way I was communicating to her was just making her feel shitty about herself instead of building her up, which was completely the opposite of what I thought I was doing,” McLachlan stated. She emphasized the importance of “eating a lot of humble pie” and learning to communicate differently. AOL reported that McLachlan needed to take stock and prioritize a healthy relationship with her daughter.

A Long Process with a Positive Outcome

McLachlan described the process of rebuilding their relationship as “long,” but ultimately “beautiful and powerful.” The News International noted that both McLachlan and her daughter learned valuable lessons during therapy, with India also taking responsibility for her reactions. They now share an “open, loving relationship.”

Inspired Songwriting

McLachlan’s experience with her daughter also influenced her songwriting. She told Billboard that the chapter in their relationship inspired her song “Gravity” from her 2023 album. She expressed gratitude that she could sing the song knowing they had overcome a challenging time together.

Family Background

Sarah McLachlan shares two daughters, India Ann Sushil (born in 2002) and Taja Summer (born in 2007), with her ex-husband, Ashwin Sood. The couple was married from 1997 to 2008. Hello Magazine provides further details on their family history.