“You know what? I probably should have put more apologies in the book than I did,” Trisha Paytas told USA Today.
The internet personality released her new memoir, titled Crying on the Kitchen Floor, which hit stores this week. The 38-year-old mother of three addresses her long history as an online troll and her journey through digital notoriety.
Paytas accumulated 18 million followers across Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok after pioneering early video blogs on platforms like MySpace and YouTube. Her early viral moment arrived in 2010 with a speed-reading video that garnered over one million views.
“My reputation will never be good; there will never be a time where everyone’s universally excited for Trisha Paytas,” Paytas told USA Today on a video call.
Paytas relied on rage bait and provocative uploads to sustain audience growth and viewer interaction. Her subversive comedic style drew inspiration from anti-comedian Andy Kaufman, leading to frequent online cancellations and controversies.
Her personal life frequently spilled into her public content, including high-profile relationships and a 2019 borderline personality disorder diagnosis. She experienced intense public scrutiny for various racially insensitive videos and persona performances.
“I feel like I’ve apologized a lot online, but I’m happy to keep apologizing,” Paytas told USA Today during the interview.
Paytas shifted away from intentional outrage culture to focus on her Just Trish podcast. The weekly show covers pop culture, creator drama, and her daily experiences.
The new memoir chronicles her past relationships, drug addiction battles, sex work history, and the turbulent end of her Frenemies podcast with co-host Ethan Klein. She hopes readers will evaluate her trajectory objectively.
“Maybe when I’m 50 or something, people will see the Mother Teresa in me, and they’ll be like, ‘Okay, she is a different person,'” Paytas told USA Today. “Fingers crossed. But for now, I’ll take it.”
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