The Complex Emotions of Pregnancy: Why It’s Okay to Not Love Being Pregnant
Pregnancy is often portrayed as a time of blissful joy, but the reality for many individuals is far more complex. While some experience a fulfilling and comfortable pregnancy, others struggle with a range of challenging emotions, including dislike or even hatred of the experience. Recognizing that these feelings are normal and valid is crucial for maternal wellbeing.
The Physical and Emotional Toll of Pregnancy
The first trimester can be particularly difficult, often marked by debilitating nausea and vomiting due to hormonal shifts. Julia Ries Wexler, a writer for Vox, experienced this firsthand, spending the first four months of her pregnancy vomiting multiple times a day. Beyond the physical discomfort, pregnancy brings significant emotional changes. The hormonal fluctuations can contribute to mood swings, anxiety, and feelings of overwhelm.
High-Risk Pregnancies and Added Stress
For some, pregnancy is not only uncomfortable but as well carries significant medical risks. As of March 23, 2026, Julia Ries Wexler is in the third trimester of a high-risk pregnancy with fraternal twins, requiring modified bed rest after undergoing surgery for cervical issues. These complications add layers of stress and anxiety to an already challenging time.
The Shame of Negative Feelings
Many pregnant individuals feel ashamed or guilty for not enjoying their pregnancy, particularly when surrounded by idealized images on social media. Wexler notes the contrast between her experience and the seemingly perfect pregnancies often depicted on platforms like Instagram. This dissonance can be especially painful for those who have struggled with infertility or undergone costly treatments like egg freezing or in vitro fertilization (IVF).
Expert Validation: It’s Normal to Struggle
According to Dr. Ariadna Forray, an associate professor of psychiatry and director of the Center for Wellbeing of Women and Mothers at Yale School of Medicine, negative emotions during pregnancy are not uncommon. Acknowledging that these feelings are a normal response to the physical and emotional demands of pregnancy can be incredibly validating.
Why It Matters to Acknowledge Difficult Feelings
Suppressing negative emotions can be detrimental to both maternal and infant wellbeing. Openly acknowledging and addressing these feelings allows individuals to seek support, access appropriate care, and navigate pregnancy with greater self-compassion.
It’s significant to remember that a difficult pregnancy does not diminish the love and excitement surrounding the arrival of a child. Allowing yourself to feel the full range of emotions, even the unpleasant ones, is a vital part of the journey.
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