Talking finances on a first date? Is that a smart move, major red flag, or just a new reality of modern dating in expensive cities like Toronto?
In our latest edition of *This Is Dating Now*, we hit the streets to ask torontonians: Is it wierd to talk money on the first date? And does it matter who makes more in a relationship? We also tapped into expert insight from Vancouver Island-based financial coach Tanya Oliva, who says, yes, those conversations are awkward, but it’s also one of the most critically important conversations couples will eventually have.
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DOES MONEY ACTUALLY TALK?
For Toronto resident Savonnah P., opening up the conversation about money on the first date is crucial.
“It’s very important, like, as soon as possible for me,” she told Now Toronto. She shares that talking about money, though, is less about how much is actually made and more so about being transparent.
“I’m not trying to marry someone who’s like $200,000 in debt or something… I just feel ladies have to be realistic,that it is something we prioritize. And it’s not just about how much they make, it’s about how much you know they owe,” she added.
Toronto businesswoman Ari R. is just as direct.
“I think you can see the financials on the first date.I don’t know about talking about them, but if I get a vibe, then there won’t be a second date,” she said.
As someone who self-described herself as making “mad bread,” she’s often the higher income earner in a relationship. But that doesn’t mean that she should be the only one pulling out her wallet.
“I want him to pay first as patriarchy has to do something for our benefit,” she laughs.
Another resident, Rachel M., doesn’t expect deep financial talk right away, but believes yoru spending style says a lot.
“It’s good to keep an eye out to see if someone is spending responsibly. And you can pick that up on the first date, absolutely,” she said.
She also admits income dynamics can impact attraction.
“I’m a little customary in this sense. I do like when a man makes more than me. I’ve also had the experience of dating someone who made significantly less than me,and they had some issues around masculinity,” she explained. “I like when a man can take care of his woman and his family.”
For Michael V.,the money conversation isn’t necessarily a bad topic,depending on the context.
“If it’s a way to gauge if they