The Grief of Digital Erasure: When Social Media Accounts Disappear

For nearly two decades, social media platforms like Facebook have become integral to many people’s lives, serving as digital scrapbooks, address books, and community hubs. But what happens when these platforms unexpectedly sever access, effectively erasing a significant portion of a person’s online existence? Sonja Arsenault experienced this firsthand when her Facebook account, built over 18 years, was deactivated by Meta, sparking a reflection on digital identity, grief, and the precariousness of relying on corporate-controlled spaces for personal connection.

A Digital Life Vanishes

Sonja Arsenault, a resident of British Columbia, Canada, viewed her Facebook account as a repository of her life’s moments – photos of her children growing up, connections with friends across different chapters of her life, and a platform for community engagement, including animal rescue function. In April 2025, this digital archive abruptly disappeared when Meta deactivated her account without warning.

Arsenault’s experience isn’t isolated. Reports indicate that Meta has deleted millions of accounts and received thousands of complaints about erroneous suspensions, leading many to suspect a shift towards AI-driven moderation with limited human oversight. Users have reported being locked out without clear explanations or the ability to appeal effectively.

The Appeal Process and the Cycle of Deactivation

Meta requested a video of Arsenault’s face to verify her identity for an appeal – a process that utilizes facial recognition technology to potentially flag and prevent future account creation. Her initial appeal was denied, and the account remained permanently disabled.

Determined to reconnect, Arsenault cautiously created a new account, meticulously adding friends to avoid triggering Meta’s automated systems, which scan for overlaps between new and previously disabled accounts. Though, this second attempt was as well short-lived. In September 2025, the new account was deactivated, flagged as being “related to a previously disabled account,” potentially due to a photo of her and her foster dog.

The Emotional Toll of Digital Loss

The loss of her Facebook accounts triggered a profound sense of grief for Arsenault. It wasn’t simply the loss of a website; it was the disruption of social relationships, the erasure of personal history, and a feeling of exclusion from a community she had been a part of for years. She described mourning the versions of herself preserved in those posts, feeling as if her family photo albums had been shredded.

This experience prompted Arsenault to question her dependence on the platform for validation and self-representation. She realized how much she had relied on “likes, tags, and comments” to define her online presence and how much of her identity was stored in a space she didn’t fully control.

Reclaiming Identity and Building Authentic Connections

Stepping away from Facebook allowed Arsenault to recognize that the platform no longer held the same appeal. She began to prioritize building connections that didn’t rely on algorithms and to focus on relationships with people who knew her beyond her online persona. She concluded that her legacy resides in the people who genuinely know her, not in the posts she once wrote.

While Meta may retain the snapshots of her digital life, Arsenault asserts that she retains ownership of her story – a realization that, for her, represents a form of freedom.

This is a First Person column by Sonja Arsenault, who lives in B.C. For more information about CBC’s First Person stories, please see the FAQ.