Feeling Trapped? HereS How to Break free

Carl isn’t happy in his job-it’s boring, he doesn’t especially like his coworkers, and especially his supervisor, who is a micromanager-but he has a pension and a couple of kids that he’d like to put through college. He feels trapped.

Jodi, too, feels trapped; not in a job but in her marriage. She and her husband have little in common, are living parallel lives, and his occasional but explosive bouts of anger keep her walking on eggshells. But she is only working part-time, and literally can’t afford to leave, nor does she know where she would go.

Trapped: stuck at the bottom of a well where you can see the sky but can’t get out. The feeling readily leads to depression, a why-bother-it-doesn’t-matter-there’s-nothing-you-can-do attitude.You hate the feeling, but you give up.

But it doesn’t have to be that way. Here are some suggestions for breaking out.

Realize you’re making a choice

Unluckily, there are situations and conditions where you are truly trapped: you’re in prison or living in a war zone. But for most of us,and for Carl and Jodi,the feeling of being trapped comes with an underlying choice being made,namely,that staying is better than leaving. For Carl, the cost of leaving – financially supporting his family and losing his pension – feels too high. For Jodi,the fear of the unknown and financial insecurity outweigh the unhappiness in her marriage. Recognizing this choice is the first step. It means you have agency, even if your options feel limited.