The silent Struggle: Youth Suicide and the Need for Peer Support

It is often insufficient to help young people with serious and long-term psychological problems on their path to recovery.Suicide remains the leading cause of death among young adults. In 2024, suicide accounted for 20 percent of deaths among teenagers in the Netherlands, according to figures from Statistics Netherlands – a higher rate than deaths due to traffic accidents or cancer.

The LUF Kinderfonds is dedicated to improving the future for vulnerable children and young people. Through fundraising, the Fund supports scientific research that contributes to better care. In collaboration with researchers Laura Nooteboom, Robert Vermeiren, and Carolijn de Beer from LUMC Curium, they are investigating how young people with lived experience can support others – offering better help and fostering hope.

“Our biggest nightmare became reality”
Four years ago, Sjaak van der Pouw lost his daughter Fleur to suicide. “The biggest nightmare of every parent became reality for us,” he says. Fleur struggled with complex mental health issues and an eating disorder,anorexia. For years, she did not receive the appropriate care. Ultimately,she saw no way out. “It felt like we were watching our child drown, and we couldn’t reach her.”

Fleur was a bright,sensitive sixteen-year-old attending gymnasium (pre-university education). “Maybe too bright,” her father reflects. “She overthought many things in the world around her.” Others placed high expectations on her due to her intelligence – suggesting she skip a grade or pursue a career as a doctor. But Fleur simply wanted to be a child. this constant pressure weighed heavily on her. Even in primary school, she was placed in an advanced class, despite preferring to blend in with her peers.

As she entered puberty, Fleur grappled with profound questions: who am I? What do I want? What makes me happy? These are not easy questions to answer. Social media further intricate matters. Fleur keenly felt the pressure to present a perfect image.”We had many conversations about it: why you never see anyone cry on Instagram or Snapchat – only success and cheerfulness. And if you don’t experience and feel that way, it seems like you are the only one.”

Anorexia: a creeping disease
During her fourth year of gymnasium,her parents noticed Fleur beginning to experiment with her food. It soon became clear she had developed anorexia. She recognized that she was struggling and sought help from the school counselor, which afterward involved her parents.

Anorexia is a disease that patients can effectively conceal. Fleur would draw herself as overweight, despite being underweight. Her self-perception was divorced from reality. Though, Fleur and her parents encountered obstacles when seeking help from various authorities. “Doors closed without clarification,” her father,Sjaak,notes.

Between the shore and ship
While healthcare professionals acknowledged Fleur’s serious problems,they insisted she gain weight before addressing her underlying mental health issues. “Is that logical?” Sjaak asks. A pediatrician could point to her dangerously low heart rate and the potential need for intravenous fluids. “But he couldn’t address her mental health.You need psychologists and psychiatrists for that, and the care pathways don’t always align.”

Fleur fell between