Strictly come Dancing head judge Shirley Ballas is a carer for her mum audrey, who was diagnosed with the lung condition COPD in 2022.
Caring for a loved one can be incredibly rewarding, but it also comes with meaningful challenges. It can impact your physical and mental health, finances, and social life.
Here, shirley and Audrey share their experiences, alongside advice from experts.
‘It’s a 24/7 job’
Shirley says becoming a carer for her mum Audrey has been a “huge learning curve”.
“Mum was always very self-reliant, very strong,” she explains. “To see her decline has been heartbreaking. It’s a 24/7 job, and it’s changed our relationship.”
Audrey, 86, was diagnosed with chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD) in 2022 after a routine chest X-ray revealed a shadow on her lung. COPD is a group of lung conditions that cause breathing difficulties. It affects more than three million people in the UK.
“I was shocked,” Audrey says. “I’d always been fit and active. But I started getting breathless, even walking to the shops.”
Shirley, 63, has taken on the role of primary carer for her mum, which involves helping with everything from medication and appointments to cooking and cleaning.
“I’ve had to learn how to administer oxygen,how to recognize when her symptoms are worsening,and how to advocate for her with healthcare professionals,” Shirley says.
The emotional toll
The emotional toll of caring can be immense. Shirley admits she’s struggled with feelings of guilt, anxiety, and exhaustion.
“I feel guilty when I have to prioritise work commitments over Mum’s needs,” she says. “I worry constantly about her health. And I’m frequently enough completely drained.”
It’s crucial to acknowledge these feelings and seek support, says Dr Sarah Jarvis, a GP and medical advisor to the charity Carers UK.
“Carers often put their own needs last, but that’s not lasting,” she says. “It’s crucial to prioritise your own physical and mental health.”
Practical tips for carers
Here are some tips for managing the challenges of caring:
* Accept help: Don’t be afraid to ask for help from family, friends, or professional carers.
* Take breaks: Regular breaks are essential for recharging your batteries.
* Join a support group: Connecting with other carers can provide valuable emotional support and practical advice.
* Look after your health: Eat a healthy diet,exercise regularly,and get enough sleep.
* Seek professional help: If you’re struggling with your mental health, talk to your GP or a therapist.
* Financial support: Carers Allowance is available for those on a low income.
‘we’ve grown closer’
despite the challenges, Shirley says caring for her mum has also brought them closer together.
“We talk more now than we ever did before,” she says. “I’ve learned so much about her life, her hopes, and her fears. It’s been a difficult journey, but it’s also been a lovely one.”
Audrey agrees. “I’m so grateful for Shirley,” she says. “She’s been my rock.I don’t know what I’d do without her.”
If you are a carer,you can find more details and support from:
* Age UK
Shirley Ballas Reveals Mother’s Battle with Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease
Strictly Come Dancing head judge Shirley Ballas has spoken candidly about her mother’s health struggles with Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD). Ballas revealed the condition has considerably impacted her mother’s life, leading to increased anxiety and a preference for staying at home.
She explained that her mother now fears public outings,worried about attracting unwanted attention due to coughing. “So we only go out once a week now, it’ll be for two or three hours. She doesn’t care to go outside, she just prefers to be home which is kind of sad,” Ballas shared.
Despite having a nebulizer and puffer, ballas admitted it’s a challenge to encourage her mother to use them, describing her as “awkward” and “stubborn.” However, she added that her mother is attempting to quit smoking.
Ballas emphasized the strong bond she shares with her mother, acknowledging the sacrifices made to support her childhood dance aspirations. “She is queen bee. She’s the true queen of the house, shall we say, and I shall forever have true gratitude for everything that she’s done for me throughout my life,” she said.