Most people contend with stress in some element of their lives. What can you do when you are overwhelmed by it and your coping mechanisms no longer seem to work? Here, psychotherapists share their techniques for managing in the moment, seeking help, and minimising everyday stress.## Recognize the signs
“When we are stressed, our body undergoes physiological changes as part of our fight or flight,” says Hannah Stebbings, an integrative therapist at Priory hospital Barnt Green in Birmingham. “We get increased heart rates, and then the stress hormones cortisol and adrenaline get released, and they flood our bodies.” This causes physical symptoms, such as headaches or issues with the digestive system, and then there is the emotional aspect: “You might notice that you’re feeling irritable, anxious, you’ve got low mood, lack of motivation: these are key signs that you are under a lot of stress.” This can mean people withdraw and avoid socialising,”or you might be a bit more snappy with your friends,partner,children,colleagues.”
“Everyone experiences stress,” says Lauren Baird, a psychotherapist from Glasgow, “whether it is a boss that triggers you or financial stress. Even if you eliminate the stressor, you are still going to have stress hormones that course through your body and need to be discharged. What is crucial is how we respond.” She gives the example of her three-year-old having a tantrum, which causes her to feel stressed. If she can get out for a vigorous 20-minute walk, this will help her to feel better. “Dealing with the stressor, the problem itself, is different from dealing with the stress, which is the physiological response in your body,” Baird says.Stress that isn’t dealt with will live on in your body, she adds. “I talk a lot about nervous system regulation as a core foundation. People think stress has become a part of who they are, but they aren’t tuned into their bodies.”
## No when to get help
If you feel overwhelmed by stress, it is important to get professional help, say
Simple strategies to reduce stress, according to experts
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“People often jump to worst case scenarios,” says Stebbings. She uses a technique called “cognitive restructuring” with clients to challenge those unhelpful thoughts. When you have a negative thought,Stebbings advises to ask yourself,”What is the evidence for and against this thought?” and then reframe it by looking at it in a more balanced way. “Ask yourself, ‘What would you say to a friend if they were feeling like this?'”
Something else Stebbings uses, including in her own life, is called “I’m having a thought that …”. “When we notice we are feeling stressed, we say to ourselves, ‘I’m having a thought that … I can’t cope’, for example. This small phrase lets you step back and it creates distance between yourself and the thought.”
Make a list
“Frequently enough, when people are stressed, they are trying to remember everything that they have to do and this wastes a lot of neuro energy,” says Feliciano. “When we prioritise what we see on a list, it feels a little less overwhelming than if we’re trying to remember those things, and then when we cross them off, we get a hit of dopamine, which affects our motivation and productivity.”
Listen to music
Music evokes emotion and can calm and alter mood by soothing our nervous system, says Stebbings: “Music serves as a powerful tool to reduce stress. We can listen to a song and it might take us back to a happy memory.” She also recommends listening to meditation music or a guided visualisation: “That can definitely help to reduce stress rapidly.”
Splash your face – or have a cold shower
Cold water can be helpful if you are feeling panicky to shock the body into a different state,explains Stebbings: “It activates the parasympathetic nervous system,so after the initial shock,your body naturally shifts into a calming mode,which slows down the heart rate and helps you to feel more grounded. Second, it breaks the stress cycle. Cold exposure gives the brain a strong sensory signal that can interrupt spiralling thoughts, worry and overwhelm.” You can also achieve this by holding an ice cube in your hand or splashing your face with water. You could even have a cold shower – Stebbings
Break free from your phone: how to manage screen time and improve your wellbeing
We all know that feeling: endlessly scrolling, losing track of time, and emerging from our phones feeling… worse. But why is this the case, and what can we do about it? Experts are increasingly highlighting the link between excessive screen time and our mental wellbeing.
“Our brains are wired to seek novelty and reward, and social media platforms are designed to exploit that,” explains Dr.Becky Stebbings, a clinical psychologist. “Every notification, like, and comment triggers a release of dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure. This creates a feedback loop that can be very addictive.”
Feliciano, a counselling psychologist, adds that this constant stimulation can lead to a reliance on our phones for mood regulation. “It’s related to our screen usage,” she says.
How can you get around this? “Put your phone on grayscale mode,” says Feliciano. “that will not give you the hits of dopamine that you want.I had some student interns do that, and one said, ‘I got mad, because all of a sudden it was boring.’ I said, ‘Well, we would call that withdrawal.’ I think a big piece of our mood regulation is setting those digital boundaries.”
Baird recommends the screentime app Opal to limit phone usage. “It is indeed also helpful to think about why you are scrolling. What purpose does that serve?” She says that people use phones, alcohol or food to distract from dealing with stressful emotions. When you have identified what you are scrolling for, you can look to create a healthier relationship with your phone. A good starting point is not having it in your bedroom at night, says Baird: “An hour before bed you shouldn’t be on your phone, in terms of the blue light and the impact it has on sleep. realistically, I say to my clients to have absolutely no screen time half an hour before bed.”
Be mindful
“Rather of worrying about the past or thinking about the future, try to be really mindful and present in what you’re doing in the here and now,” says Stebbings.
Ask yourself if you have made time for anything that you enjoy, says Feliciano. “And do you actually have the motivation to do those things? If I’m talking to someone and they’re looking at things in the past that have brought them joy, but there’s no desire for them in the moment, then we’re looking at something that may look more like clinical depression, in which case we need a bigger intervention.”
Get creative
Baird says taking up a creative hobby is a brilliant stress reliever: “Art, music, writing, dancing in your kitchen – any kind of creative activity.” But, she warns: “It is indeed really critically important that it is not about creating something that you can put out into the world; you’re not creating it