Jaimie Vaes Opens Up About Co-Parenting and Autism
Dutch media personality Jaimie Vaes has been candid about the challenges she faces as a single mother raising her son, Lío, who was diagnosed with autism. Vaes shared her experiences in a recent interview for the YouTube series "FAWRY Not Sawry," offering a glimpse into the complexities of co-parenting with her ex-partner, Jorik Scholten, while navigating the world of autism.
Three years have passed since their highly publicized split, a period marked by allegations of abuse. While things have calmed down, Vaes describes the relationship with Scholten as strained, especially when it comes to co-parenting.
"We have no contact that goes through other roads," Vaes revealed, emphasizing the lack of open communication. "It’s all so challenging, and that’s a shame because you don’t have to. Come on, it’s ready."
She expressed her desire for a more collaborative approach, stating, "If it’s up to me, I could just sit down for lunch tomorrow with a cup of coffee and say ‘dude, what will be the next step regarding Lío and parenting, and what is expected from both of us?’ But that’s not possible and that really isn’t with me. I prefer that he is involved; all doors are open."
However, Vaes acknowledges the reality of their situation. Lío’s father is disengaged from his son’s life, a fact that weighs heavily on her. "He can get him every day, he can call every day," she shares, but adds, "He’s busy, maybe that could be a reason. In my view, parenting is not only nice to play, but taking responsibility. Nobody is perfect, I am not a perfect mother either. I don’t strive for that either. But I want the best and I want to become a better version of myself. Mainly for Lío. But provided that he does not take that responsibility and takes it, it is indeed very tough."
Raising a child with autism adds another layer of complexity to Vaes’s experience.
"I sometimes think in the night or in the morning or in the evening: imagine it would be different," she shares, emphasizing, "He is perfect, he really doesn’t have to change, and I would not have wanted him otherwise. But I realize that this makes it extra tough." She expresses frustration with the Dutch care system, describing it as "very pussy and jerk" and feeling that families are often on long waiting lists and face bureaucratic hurdles.
Vaes’s story resonates with the struggles parents of children with autism face worldwide. It highlights the need for more compassionate, responsive, and streamlined care systems, and the importance of supportive communities that understand their unique challenges.
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