Jessie Buckley Opens Up About Battling Eating Disorder and Depression

Award-winning actress Jessie Buckley has revealed her struggles with an eating disorder and depression during her teenage years, crediting her passion for acting and music as crucial elements in her recovery. The 36-year-old, currently garnering acclaim for her role in Hamnet, shared her experiences during a recent appearance on BBC Radio 4’s Desert Island Discs.

Finding Solace in the Arts

Buckley, originally from Killarney, County Kerry, but now residing in Norfolk, described acting as “essential” to her wellbeing, stating it felt “like water to me.” She recounted a time when her appendix almost burst during an early performance, yet she refused to leave until the play was finished, highlighting the profound connection she felt to her craft.

“I didn’t know how to be alive the way I wanted to be, and it was difficult,” Buckley told presenter Lauren Laverne. “But I do not for a second regret it, and I think I’ve been able to transform it and recognise our vulnerabilities as humans in the world.” She emphasized the importance of transforming difficult experiences into something meaningful, allowing for personal growth and a deeper understanding of the human condition.

A Turning Point in London

Buckley’s journey to recovery wasn’t without its challenges. She recalled a period of struggle after moving to London, admitting there were moments she feared she wouldn’t be able to continue pursuing her passion if she didn’t improve. “There were moments where I was like, ‘if I don’t get better here, this music, this being part of theatre – I’m not going to be able to do this any more, and I probably won’t survive’,” she shared. This realization became a turning point, solidifying her commitment to her art and her own wellbeing.

Early Career and Self-Discovery

The actress also reflected on her time on the BBC talent show I’d Do Anything, where she competed for the role of Nancy in a West End production of Oliver!. She expressed regret over the criticism she faced regarding her appearance during that period, stating, “I don’t like that part of it.”

“I think that was a young woman who’s trying to discover her body and herself, like we all do,” Buckley explained. “And I wish that hadn’t happened. I think I was putting a brave face on, because really what I wanted to do was sing and I wanted to act, and I wanted to be part of this industry, and all of a sudden you had to be a certain kind of person. And I just wasn’t, I never will be. That’s just not me.” Despite the negative experience, she expressed pride in her younger self, stating, “I’m so proud of that girl. I think she did great and I don’t regret any of it.”

Ongoing Support and Gratitude

Buckley has been in therapy since the age of 17 and continues to attend weekly sessions. She expressed deep gratitude for the support she has received throughout her journey, acknowledging the importance of those who “held space” for her struggles. She also spoke fondly of her mother, describing her as “extraordinary” and praising her for forging her own path in life.

Jessie Buckley’s full interview on Desert Island Discs is available on BBC Sounds and BBC Radio 4 here.