Maura Higgins Opens Up About Grief and Post-Love Island Struggles

Love Island star Maura Higgins bravely revealed her deepest struggles with grief over the loss of her best friend, Andrew Rowan, in a new podcast interview. She shared the raw emotions she still feels and the overwhelming guilt that she blames herself for his death.

Blaming Herself

Higgins explained on Paul Carrick Brunson’s “We Need to Talk” podcast that she still blames herself for Rowan’s tragic death in a motorbike accident in 2017. “I can’t work my head around it,” she said. “He called me and said he’d finished work early and wanted to grab food. I was like, ‘I can’t be f***ed, I’m still in my pyjamas.’ If I just got dressed, everything would have been different.”

She continued, “I don’t want to cry, I am not a crier as well. I think I just beat myself up over it because it would have been different.” She expressed the weight of ‘what if’ thoughts and how she could have changed things.

“I didn’t go for the dinner but I still saw him that day. I will never forget him arriving on the bike and I remember saying straight away, ‘Why are you on the bike?’ He’s not a biker, every time he was on it, I just didn’t understand it. I just didn’t like it. He was like, ‘It’s a great day, it’s a lovely day outside.’ I remember thinking, ‘stop thinking bad