‘SNL’ Cold Open: Colin Jost and Ashley Padilla Skewer Pete Hegseth Over Iran and Kristi Noem’s Firing

The March 7th episode of Saturday Night Live featured a cold open that satirized the escalating tensions with Iran and recent political shifts within the Trump administration, specifically targeting Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth and the dismissal of Kristi Noem from her position as Secretary of Homeland Security.

Hegseth’s “Situation-Ship” with Iran

Colin Jost, portraying Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth, delivered a press conference characterized by aggressive bravado. He described the U.S. Military actions in Iran as treating the country “like the Breathalyzer in my car — we’re blowing it the hell up.” Jost’s Hegseth resisted labeling the conflict as a “war,” referring to it instead as a “situation-ship.”

The sketch further mocked the administration’s approach to military tactics, with Hegseth suggesting a willingness to escalate involvement based on whim: “We’re just in a hookup. If it feels fine we’ll keep going, if we get bored we’ll start hooking up with Cuba.”

Noem’s Controversial Exit from DHS

The cold open also addressed Kristi Noem’s recent removal from her role at the Department of Homeland Security. Ashley Padilla, playing Noem, responded to questions about her departure with a dismissive attitude. She was “reassigned under the bus” by the president, according to Hegseth’s introduction.

Noem defended her tenure, referencing a controversial claim from her 2024 book about killing her 14-month-old hunting dog, Cricket. She stated, “Since, like they say, you miss 100% of the dogs you don’t shoot.”

The sketch continued to highlight other controversies surrounding Noem, including allegations of using $200 million in funds for advertisements featuring herself riding a horse and an alleged affair with a married co-worker: “I took this job with the goal of securing our border, deporting thousands of illegals and spending $200 million on ads of me riding a horse…And I think I really nailed it, and by ‘it,’ I mean my married co-worker in a sizeable, beautiful flying bedroom 30,000 feet over Minneapolis.”

President Trump announced he would move Noem to a newly-formed role, “special envoy for the Shield of the Americas,” and tapped Sen. Markwayne Mullin (R-Okla.) to be his nominee.